Restoring the First Love
Often, I am asked what to tell a couple having marital problems. Many times one or both say that they do not love each other any more, so what can be done? Years ago I heard a great formula for restoring the first love. I think it was the Christian counselor, Gary Chapman, but I am not certain it was him. Whoever it was gave us Revelation 2:5a as a guide. It says, "Remember therefore from where you have fallen, repent and do the first works ..." He summarized it with three R's: Remember, Repent, and Redo.
The first step is to remember your first love, the way it was when you first fell in love. Then, repent of having left that type of love and, repent of all of the things you did to cause that love to slip away. It is rarely completely the fault of one person. Finally, begin to do the things you did when you fell in love again. Say the nice things. Spend time talking over many things. Go on dates, and enjoy doing things together. Treat each other with love. Now, I know some people will say that they can't do that because they don't feel like it. However, if you will start doing those things, soon the feelings will follow the actions. That is how it works.
I know that God is so good that if two people will try this formula with open hearts, trying to do God's perfect will for their lives, it will work. After all, God is love. He loves for us to love Him and to love each other. Love is a choice, so we can love anyone we choose to love. If two people choose to love each other, they can have a fantastic relationship, but it takes a lot of work.
Tomorrow, I intend to read Proverbs 30-31 and II Corinthians 11:1-15.
The first step is to remember your first love, the way it was when you first fell in love. Then, repent of having left that type of love and, repent of all of the things you did to cause that love to slip away. It is rarely completely the fault of one person. Finally, begin to do the things you did when you fell in love again. Say the nice things. Spend time talking over many things. Go on dates, and enjoy doing things together. Treat each other with love. Now, I know some people will say that they can't do that because they don't feel like it. However, if you will start doing those things, soon the feelings will follow the actions. That is how it works.
I know that God is so good that if two people will try this formula with open hearts, trying to do God's perfect will for their lives, it will work. After all, God is love. He loves for us to love Him and to love each other. Love is a choice, so we can love anyone we choose to love. If two people choose to love each other, they can have a fantastic relationship, but it takes a lot of work.
Tomorrow, I intend to read Proverbs 30-31 and II Corinthians 11:1-15.