Finishing Our Grieving
Grief is real. It affects Christians and non-Christians. No one is immune to going through the grief process after losing a loved one or having another significant loss in life. There are stages in the grief process, but the good news is that there is an end to the process, too. We can finish our grieving over our loss once we have gone through all of the stages. We see this in David's life after his son Absalom killed his half-brother Amnon, another son of David. (II Samuel 13:38) Absalom fled to Geshur after killing Amnon for raping his sister Tamar. David grieved over Amnon's death for three years. After his grieving was finished, David longed for his son Absalom. I believe it is important for us to know how to have a healthy grieving process with the Lord's help.
When we are grieving the loss of a loved one or something else, we can actually go into shock. We can be paralyzed by our pain, just like physical pain can bring on shock. We need to cry and to talk about our pain with others who love us. Mostly, we need to pour out our heart to the Lord for His healing. At the same time, some people are stopped in the process because they go into denial. They do not even want to admit that the person is gone. Denying our loss doesn't help, but it hangs us up, until we get closure. That can come by having a funeral or a Memorial service, so that we are shown clearly what has happened, even if it hurts. Then, we can get depressed, so we want to make sure we do not withdraw from people and sleep all of the time. We must get out with others, exercise, and get in the sunlight which lifts our mood. Often, we get angry with the Lord or someone else. We must put away the anger with God's help, and forgive others or forgive ourselves. Also, we have a lot of questions, and we think "What if I had done ________?" Again we must work out the questions with God's help and realize the loss was not our fault. Then, finally, as we pray and seek the comfort of God's Spirit, we come to the place where we see what God has taught us through our loss. This enables us to see God's hand in it and trust Him to give us strength to move on with our new found wisdom and understanding. This enables us to look back with love and faith, knowing God is in control, and He is working all things for our good. When we get there, we are finished with our grieving over that loss. Yes, we may still be sad and miss the person or whatever we lost from time to time, but it doesn't cause us harm any more. That is what God wants for all of us.
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Tomorrow, I intend to read II Samuel 14-16.